The Pizza Snob and Mrs. Pie were spending their annual vacation week on the Florida Panhandle when I realized it was time to take stock of the local pizza joints. Starting with my favorite friendly search engine, I discovered something new that was enticingly advertised as “offering a taste of New York, right here in Seagrove Beach, featuring the Big Apple’s signature crust.” The picture on the website looked decent as well, and I was soon off to check out Brozinni Pizzeria. Sadly, I would eventually learn that this statement about their pizza could be no further than the truth.
Later that same night, I headed west on 30-A towards Seagrove Beach from our newly-found best-kept secret on 30-A, the quiet and secluded Inlet Beach. Just before getting to the Brozinni address, I parked and noticed that Pizza Nona was gone and had been replaced by Peppinos Pizzeria which was currently closed. I then found Bronzinni to be tacked on to the end of a Big Fish Bike Rentals shop that was within walking distance. My peek inside found their counter slice-empty at this late hour, and they looked to be busy placing deliveries and pick-ups rather than serving slice-seekers like myself. I decided I would return the following day to visit both of these new pizza places.
After my historic (and previously documented) visit to Peppinos, Brozinni had a tough task ahead of them to please the Snob. However, their unorthodox pizza concoction never even offered then a chance.
Their small room was quite welcoming and had a comfortable table and chair area in which to sit. But as soon as I approached the counter, I felt more like I was visiting a pastry shop than a pizza joint. The variety of slices on display all looked so big and puffy! They all had East Coast names like Canal Street and Garden State Parkway, but they were all monsters with end crust handles as wide as the handle of a Jersey schoolyard stickball bat!
I knew immediately I was in trouble and came close to leaving at this point. Sticking it out, I ordered the plainest-looking cheese slice I could find. Brozinni’s big slices also carried a hefty price tag ($4.29), and each came with a free unnecessary garlic knot that just added to the dough overkill.
To sum it up quickly, the Brozinni experience was more like eating a grilled cheese sandwich than a slice of pizza. Served at a tepid temperature to boot, it was a mushy doughy mess with zero crispness. The cheese was just all wrong and I even tasted something mixed in there from the yellow variety like a Cheddar or an American. Said cheese was also burnt on top, and reminded me somewhat of that crap slice I once had at Costco. About all I can say nice about it was that it was edible, and that what they put into it were good ingredients and not garbage. However, this slice offered zilch in terms of pizza satisfaction to the Snob.
So, plain and simple, I’d pass on Brozinni Pizzeria unless you are in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich and can’t find an open diner. This is just not New York pizza in any way shape or form.
PIZZA SNOB RATING ** Why Did I Waste Those Calories?
Brozinni Pizzeria
4101 East County Highway 30-A
Seagrove Beach, FL 32459
850-231-4544
www.brozinnipizza.com/
